I went back to climbing after such a long time.
But didnt really kinda got welcome.
I just came back from training and the response people gave me when I went back was pretty much expected but i didnt know it'd be this bad. Sigh. All those negative remarks they make sacarstically really affected me quite a lot. Remarks like "eh you still in the team meh?" , "hi nigel!!! Wow.. finally you cameback ah??!!" and so on and so forth. It puts you down. And this are the typical comments that people made. Well it was truely expected. But the one person i least expected, gave me the warmest welcome. It was Liz, well she's in the alumni, not part of TPSC anymore but she came to me, gave a nice climber style handshake and with her sweetest voice told me, "hey long time no see.." followed by the friendliest hug, 'thanks liz. if you're reading this. thank you so much. you made a difference.' If only everyone welcome me like that. But nevertheless like how i told kee, I wanna go climbing because of my love for the sport. If I need to go there and entertain all these people trying to put me down, it ain't gonna bring me anywhere. So yea. I made up my mind. I wanna go for traing constantly now-like the past when i was super enthu bout climbing. As in super enthu. Let me describe to you whats my definition of enthu.
In my free time i surf climbing sites, watch climbing videos, travel to queesway to just go see a pair of new rock climbing shoes, have my bag sew with a rock climbing brand tag, go gym and workout cuz i wanna climb better, climb til i had blister and stil continue, bought a brush specially for my rock shoes so i can maintain it so i can 'stick' to the wall better, wear like cock to school just so people know Im a climber, well it felt good to tell the world you're good at something. And the feeling of losing it, SUCKS.
Its not like i never contribute at all last time. Eh come on laa people. My team won first during a speed climbing competition against other poly. It was the first time TP has ever gotten any first and its by my team. So come on. Its just that i refused to become the captain of the team cuz I know there'll be tonnes of responsibilty and i got fucked. sigh. If i knew this would happen, I can jolly well be the captain. It not like i cant lead people and i can't make things happen. I CAN ok!! But i choose not to cuz I've had enough of this kinda thing in secondary school. And when things go wrong, who gets the bloody blame? The captain.. All the arrow point to the captain. Get what I'm trying to say? I just don like to be arrow-ed for the things I tried to do but failed. Just say that I'm not gamed enough or whatever. Period.
School projects are all coming along fine. School work is perfect. I can handle all the tutorial questions. Heaven been skipping any lecture. It may sound stupid but you must know how much lecture i skip the last two semesters then you'll know what i mean by I've achieved something by going for all the lectures and I mean go lecture and listen and absorb. I did it. I really feel good. It feels good to teach the friend beside you. It feels like you're look upon as someone who has a brain. Well you really have to know me to understand what Im trying to say. Its just a super great sense of achievment to know that you yourself is making so much effort and its paying off inside you. I know it. I don't need the whole world to tell me I've done it. I just know. Well starting right at the beginning of the semester just feels good.Like they always say 好的开始是成功的一半. And I'm living it.
Just wanna say a big thank you to all those people that have been by my side supporting me directly or indirectly that you have made a difference in my life no matter or small the effort is. Thanks guys.
Especially you my baby, you were, and is my pillar of strength and hope. Someone that gives me the inner strength to go on. Thank you baby. I really appreciate all that you have done. You really make my life so worthwhile.